Facing Yet Another Cross

The time has come in this pregnancy to face yet another cross. I've been dreading this one ever since the first day of finding out our sweet baby's terminal diagnosis- the time of pregnancy when everyone asks you all about it!  Now that I'm 28 weeks, and clearly showing, it seems that pretty much everyone feels inspired to discuss it with me.  At church, in the grocery store, in the library, at the chiropractor's- you name it, if I'm there, people are ready to talk about it.

Due to the fact that I have a 16 month old as well, she usually helps to start the conversation rolling, and it pretty much goes like this..."Oh what a cute daughter you have!  How old is she?  Is she your first?  And I see you're expecting again!  Do you know what you're having?  When are you due?

That part I can handle.  If it ends there, it's easy enough to just smile and go on.  The hard part is that people typically throw in a final blanket statement before they walk away, like... "Oh, you're going to have your hands full!"  Or, "My daughter had two that were only 16 months apart and it was awful!! Wish you luck!" Or, "So close? Oh, they're going to be the best of friends!"

Truth is, every blanket statement just makes it hurt more.  The fact is, not only am I not going to have my hands full; I'm going to have painfully empty arms come Dec/Jan.  Or, how I wish I had better luck than the mother with 2 healthy children, only 16 months apart.  And yes, thanks for reminding how much Elisa, who loves babies and kids, is going to miss out on having a sibling and playmate close in age.

Sigh. Yet another cross to offer up, and then cry about when I get home.  This whole experience of suffering with our Baby Joey had caused me to reflect on Jesus' road to Calvary so much.  I feel like I've gotten past my own little "Agony in the Garden," (as in... Pleeease, take this cup away from me), and gotten to the point of at least accepting this cross as God will for me.  Each day is hard, though, like today when I ran into yet another pregnancy commentator at the grocery store.  It makes me think of Jesus' suffering, and His prayer, "Father forgive them; they know not what they do/(say)."