We have so, so, much to be thankful for. Maybe it's easier to realize it because we've just had a deep loss, I don't know. What I do know is that I feel so incredibly thankful for the little things this year, which now seem huge... life, freedom, good health, two arms and two legs, sunshine, fresh air, Elisa's laughter, big hugs from Matt, the smell of campfires burning, crunching the fall leaves underfoot, dear friendships... I could go on.
We're also incredibly thankful for all of YOU-- you, who have journeyed with us, grieved with us, celebrated with us, and recognized the precious life of our little baby Joey. We are more grateful that words can express. To those of you who contributed to Joey's grave marker, we are soooo grateful, and we're almost there! We want to thank every one of you personally, and we are in the process of writing your thank-you cards... very slowly, but surely. =) .
Finally, on this eve of Thanksgiving in America, I especially want to say, thank you, God, for all the wonderful things you have put into my life! Thank you for my family, friends, health, the natural world and all its beauty, and especially life itself! Thank you for sending us baby Joey to help us remember what's important. And, especially, thank you for the Eucharist, and for sending your own Son to die for me.
To baby Joey- "Happy one month birthday, on Friday!" We love you and miss you dearly!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
Gifts From Joey
So... I'm not really one to be superstitious, overly sentimental, or anything like that. However, a few really sweet things have happened since Joey's passing and I thought some of you would take joy in hearing about them. Do I know for sure these stories are from Joey? No, of course not. However, do I believe that Joey is really alive, much more so than before, and could possibly take the time to bring our family little messages of love? (Yes, of course!)
As the summer heat continued, however, the garden started to wilt and dry up, despite my efforts. We then left for a long weekend, and the garden was nearly fried by the time we got back. Two days later, we found out about Joey's diagnosis and were devastated. I couldn't bear to work in the garden anymore, and I felt it was perfectly symbolic that it had wilted away, right along with our hopes for baby Joey.
Well.. skip ahead to the day after Joey's birth. Our neighbor was talking to Matt and they walked out back near the garden. It was Oct 24th, and one perfect red strawberry was hanging over the edge of the garden in plain sight. The neighbor saw it and said, "Hey it actually looks like a heart!" And it did. There was a little leaf sticking down just so, which made the strawberry look just like a heart.
It was also our first ripe strawberry of the year and the garden. (We just put in the strawberry plants this summer and had been picking off the flowers so the plants would bear better fruit next year.) So, to us, it was a beautiful symbol of Joey's new life in Heaven, and how his life has only just begun to bear fruit!
Well, when Matt misplaced his glasses the other day, we looked around for about 15 min to no avail. Matt was getting anxious to get to work, and so on the spur of the moment we decided to ask Joey for help. Not even 10 seconds later, we walked back into the living room and there they were-- right on the top edge of the couch, where I thought we already looked!
Coincidence? Perhaps. Love message from Joey? We prefer to think so! (I can just imagine what Joey would have been like as a little boy, eager to please, and running all around the house to help find daddy's glasses!)
Anyhow, my mom was helping us get ready for the day of Joey's funeral, and she had taken Elisa grocery shopping while Matt and I were making funeral arrangements. We were planning to have folks over afterwards, and so mom was picking up food/drinks for the after party. We knew that we didn't want to grieve all day, but that we wanted to celebrate Joey's little life, and the gift he had been to us already.
So, that being said, mom was debating whether to pick up a few water bottles for the guests or not. She didn't feel like walking all the way to the back of the store, so she just decided to forget it. At the last minute, she changed her mind and headed to get some. What she saw next choked her up-- right on the top of the package, in huge letters, it said something like, "check out our new labels, where you can write your name like this... JOEY"!
Mom couldn't believe her eyes, and felt that Joey was saying to us, "It's ok! Go ahead and celebrate. I'm in Heaven and we're celebrating here too!"
Mommy's Garden
We planted a square foot garden this past spring, with all kinds of wonderful fruits and veggies, right around the time Joey was conceived. As the summer went on, Elisa and I would spend a few moments each day, checking out the progress, picking little weeds, and munching on a few ripe treats. The garden made me think a lot of our coming baby, as I watched the new sprouts grow taller and bear fruit.As the summer heat continued, however, the garden started to wilt and dry up, despite my efforts. We then left for a long weekend, and the garden was nearly fried by the time we got back. Two days later, we found out about Joey's diagnosis and were devastated. I couldn't bear to work in the garden anymore, and I felt it was perfectly symbolic that it had wilted away, right along with our hopes for baby Joey.
Well.. skip ahead to the day after Joey's birth. Our neighbor was talking to Matt and they walked out back near the garden. It was Oct 24th, and one perfect red strawberry was hanging over the edge of the garden in plain sight. The neighbor saw it and said, "Hey it actually looks like a heart!" And it did. There was a little leaf sticking down just so, which made the strawberry look just like a heart.
It was also our first ripe strawberry of the year and the garden. (We just put in the strawberry plants this summer and had been picking off the flowers so the plants would bear better fruit next year.) So, to us, it was a beautiful symbol of Joey's new life in Heaven, and how his life has only just begun to bear fruit!
Daddy's Glasses
Well, if you're Catholic, you might be familiar with the practice of asking a saint to help you out with little things, like finding missing glasses. We believe the saints can, if God allows them, help us out here below. (So, why not ask?)Well, when Matt misplaced his glasses the other day, we looked around for about 15 min to no avail. Matt was getting anxious to get to work, and so on the spur of the moment we decided to ask Joey for help. Not even 10 seconds later, we walked back into the living room and there they were-- right on the top edge of the couch, where I thought we already looked!
Coincidence? Perhaps. Love message from Joey? We prefer to think so! (I can just imagine what Joey would have been like as a little boy, eager to please, and running all around the house to help find daddy's glasses!)
Grandma's Water
This story is from my mom, and she is really the opposite of overly-sentimental. However, this one even choked her up.Anyhow, my mom was helping us get ready for the day of Joey's funeral, and she had taken Elisa grocery shopping while Matt and I were making funeral arrangements. We were planning to have folks over afterwards, and so mom was picking up food/drinks for the after party. We knew that we didn't want to grieve all day, but that we wanted to celebrate Joey's little life, and the gift he had been to us already.
So, that being said, mom was debating whether to pick up a few water bottles for the guests or not. She didn't feel like walking all the way to the back of the store, so she just decided to forget it. At the last minute, she changed her mind and headed to get some. What she saw next choked her up-- right on the top of the package, in huge letters, it said something like, "check out our new labels, where you can write your name like this... JOEY"!
Mom couldn't believe her eyes, and felt that Joey was saying to us, "It's ok! Go ahead and celebrate. I'm in Heaven and we're celebrating here too!"
Postpartum-- the Surprise of JOY
I know it's been a few weeks since my last blog post. I started this one a while ago but, for some reason, I've had a terrible time finishing it. Words are just inadequate.
How are we doing in the aftermath of baby Joey's birth and death? Surprisingly..... Wonderful. Joyful. Grateful. In Awe, (at the mystery of life and love). I want to shout it from the rooftops; I can't believe God's goodness to us. In the short moments of Joey's little life, I discovered that having a baby with anencephaly wasn't a curse at all; it was a gift. Joey didn't really need us (i.e. his little life was already destined for Heaven), but we sure needed him. And now we're forever changed.
I know that I couldn't believe it... I didn't believe it... when I read so many stories of moms in similar circumstances, and how they would not trade this experience for anything in the world. The stories of joy, hope, consolation, the gift of life that the child brought to the mother, were positively incredible. I didn't think it was possible to find so much joy and peace in this difficult situation, in the midst of intense suffering and loss.
And yet, here I am, and now I'm starting to get it. These past few weeks have been incredible-- absolutely, positively, life-changing. (I feel as if I've gained a hundred years in wisdom and understanding, about the meaning of life.) I, too, can now say that I wouldn't trade this experience for anything in the world. I feel so immensely blessed that I was chosen to be little Joey's mom. From the time of diagnosis, I knew I was embracing a cross, and all I could see before me were the tears and suffering involved. I knew that I had a burden to bear, but I had no idea it was going to turn into the most incredible gift, and possibly the best experience of my life.
In the bigger picture of life, I know that I really couldn't, (and didn't), do that much for little Joey. True, I chose to face some "avoidable" suffering, in order to continue the pregnancy and give birth. At times, it was so hard. I was uncomfortable, discouraged, heartbroken. But, what I've gained from the experience is unreal, an immense gift, and made it worthwhile 100 times over. I allowed love to triumph. It didn't change Joey; it changed me.
And that's all the words I have. I will try to elaborate in future posts, but for now, I just feel gratitude for the chance to share in Joey's little life. Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of little Joey shared with our family!
To Joey, I want to say, "Happy 3 weeks in Heaven, little man! =) We love you and miss you very much. Don't forget to pray for mommy, daddy, Elisa, and all our friends!"
How are we doing in the aftermath of baby Joey's birth and death? Surprisingly..... Wonderful. Joyful. Grateful. In Awe, (at the mystery of life and love). I want to shout it from the rooftops; I can't believe God's goodness to us. In the short moments of Joey's little life, I discovered that having a baby with anencephaly wasn't a curse at all; it was a gift. Joey didn't really need us (i.e. his little life was already destined for Heaven), but we sure needed him. And now we're forever changed.
I know that I couldn't believe it... I didn't believe it... when I read so many stories of moms in similar circumstances, and how they would not trade this experience for anything in the world. The stories of joy, hope, consolation, the gift of life that the child brought to the mother, were positively incredible. I didn't think it was possible to find so much joy and peace in this difficult situation, in the midst of intense suffering and loss.
And yet, here I am, and now I'm starting to get it. These past few weeks have been incredible-- absolutely, positively, life-changing. (I feel as if I've gained a hundred years in wisdom and understanding, about the meaning of life.) I, too, can now say that I wouldn't trade this experience for anything in the world. I feel so immensely blessed that I was chosen to be little Joey's mom. From the time of diagnosis, I knew I was embracing a cross, and all I could see before me were the tears and suffering involved. I knew that I had a burden to bear, but I had no idea it was going to turn into the most incredible gift, and possibly the best experience of my life.
In the bigger picture of life, I know that I really couldn't, (and didn't), do that much for little Joey. True, I chose to face some "avoidable" suffering, in order to continue the pregnancy and give birth. At times, it was so hard. I was uncomfortable, discouraged, heartbroken. But, what I've gained from the experience is unreal, an immense gift, and made it worthwhile 100 times over. I allowed love to triumph. It didn't change Joey; it changed me.
And that's all the words I have. I will try to elaborate in future posts, but for now, I just feel gratitude for the chance to share in Joey's little life. Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of little Joey shared with our family!
To Joey, I want to say, "Happy 3 weeks in Heaven, little man! =) We love you and miss you very much. Don't forget to pray for mommy, daddy, Elisa, and all our friends!"
Monday, November 5, 2012
Guest Post: Attending to Details for Joey
Dear Friends,
We ourselves have been encouraged, challenged—and at times—moved to tears at the witness to life that the Howes are. We want to contribute in a small way to the life of saint Joey and lift part of the financial burden off of the Howe family. We have heard from a lot of people who are interested in helping too.
Matt and Marie have offered us the opportunity to attend to a small detail of Joey’s life and form a closer connection to our newest intercessor. Would you like to help us pay for the grave marker for Joseph Matthew?
Your contribution would honor the loving sacrifices they have made and their “yes” to God. We can’t help but think of Joey asking graces to be poured out for the love extended to him and his family.
If you wish to contribute, you can give online through the Paypal link on the right.
Many of you already know the story of Baby Joey. In the middle of their pregnancy, Matt and
Marie Howe learned their precious baby boy was not going to live very long on
earth once he was born. Joseph Matthew
Howe entered and left this world on October 23, 2012 after spending a little
over an hour with his family.
The Howes are overjoyed at being Joey’s parents, having him baptized and confirmed, and being so intimately connected with a little saint in Heaven. Their beautiful perspective on this whole experience is a testament to God’s ability to work through suffering and the power or prayer. We serve a good God.
The Howes are overjoyed at being Joey’s parents, having him baptized and confirmed, and being so intimately connected with a little saint in Heaven. Their beautiful perspective on this whole experience is a testament to God’s ability to work through suffering and the power or prayer. We serve a good God.
We ourselves have been encouraged, challenged—and at times—moved to tears at the witness to life that the Howes are. We want to contribute in a small way to the life of saint Joey and lift part of the financial burden off of the Howe family. We have heard from a lot of people who are interested in helping too.
Matt and Marie have offered us the opportunity to attend to a small detail of Joey’s life and form a closer connection to our newest intercessor. Would you like to help us pay for the grave marker for Joseph Matthew?
Your contribution would honor the loving sacrifices they have made and their “yes” to God. We can’t help but think of Joey asking graces to be poured out for the love extended to him and his family.
If you wish to contribute, you can give online through the Paypal link on the right.
Please continue to lift up their family in prayer. The blessings are just beginning! Joseph Matthew, pray for us!
In Christ,
Jennifer Sands and Carrie
Schmitt
P.S. If you do wish to contribute, please include your
address so they can personally thank you.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Happy All Saint's Day!
We have a super-busy weekend ahead, but I just wanted to stop by and wish all of you a HAPPY ALL SAINT'S DAY!! This has been the most beautiful and blessed All Saint's Day I've ever experienced. We feel so incredible blessed to be little Joey's parents, and also to have a son in heaven, who can intercede for all of us! I wanted to write a big long post on how well we're doing, how blessed we feel, and how God has really turned our tears into joy in the past week... but goodness, I've just run out of time today!
I'll definitely write more next week, but I just want to leave you with knowing that we are all doing very, very, well and feel God's presence so immensely it's indescribable. God bless you all, have a happy All Saint's Day, and thank you so much for all the prayers!
I'll definitely write more next week, but I just want to leave you with knowing that we are all doing very, very, well and feel God's presence so immensely it's indescribable. God bless you all, have a happy All Saint's Day, and thank you so much for all the prayers!
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